After being away for a long time, I always notice her absence when coming back to this house. I have the strangest dreams, and she’s always in them.

We spent so much time together, Lucky and I. I would take her for long adventure walks, teach her how to jump really high and play with her for hours.. it was only the two of us – she was like my sister and best friend from when I got her by the age of 10.

At one time when we were away on a trip to Poland she escaped from the family that was taking care of her here in Malmö. They apparently had the police and taxidrivers look for her in the entire city, but had almost lost hope to find hee again. In the morning, an elderly man called the police and said that he had found a little dog that refused to accept food or water from him, she had made her way to the other side of the city and spent the night in a staircase. When we came back home the next day she wouldn’t leave my side for days. I was only told the horrific story a week Iater, but I always hated to leave her behind.

Lucky was with me through the easy happy childhood years and those hard times with dramas and break-ups, she loved going by car and she loved sitting in the basket of my bike with the wind playing with her fluffy ears. She wanted to be everywhere, hang out with me and my friends, and always cuddle up really close to me in bed.

Lucky got blind by the age of 6, but continued functioning the same. She needed more encouragement, physical contact and a leash for guidance, but she was still an energetic and playful little poodle – always up for going by car and going for adventures. She had weak teeth and a pretty bad breath, but she wasn’t afraid of anything.

It was when she got her first epileptic schock by the age of 13 that we realized that she was actually old. I couldn’t find any reasonable way to cure her – keeping her healthy would mean having her drugged and tired and in pain most of the time, it just wasn’t worth it.

She slept with me the entire last week. She was too afraid to sleep alone as she got the attacks when she was asleep. I had to hold her close to me for her to relax and she was shivering with fear, it was breaking my heart. It all took less than a couple of days, but she was gradually loosing her senses and on her last day she couldn’t even hear or smell anymore – she panicked when left alone for a second. Seeing my best friend like that left no place for doubting the appointment with the vet even the slightest.

I was sad, but I couldn’t be anything but truly happy about all the adventures we had lived together for the past 13 years. All the times she had helped me out when I was sad, and all the times I had chosen to bring her along to movie nights instead of just going out and doing something else. I was convinced that she had enjoyed as well, that she trusted me and knew that I always had done everything I could to protect her, and that was what mattered most. We had both done our best.

I do miss her, though. Her intelligence was striking and her cuddliness irresistible. And she just always knew. A wonderful friend.